We need to talk

I come to you with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. A conversation is deeply needed on how to have youth and sports co-exist. With the emergence and popularity of reality TV shows, the tendency has shifted to show extreme behaviors that generate a shock factor to the viewers. Over the years, there has been a variety of shows that have depicted various coaches working with the youth of America in different sports and competitions. And yes, there is a nobility in the pursuit of achieving excellence in sport, yet this drive has consumed the populace and we have allowed our youth to be mentored by people that have no care to the awesome responsibility or have earned the privilege of holding the title of "Coach".

Of all the egregious behaviors that have been dramatized for our consumption, a new line has been drawn in the sand. A new show: "Friday Night Tykes"  follows the 8 to 9 year old rookies division of the Texas Youth Football Association. On the official page of Friday Night Tykes, the producers make a statement: "Throughout, coaches and parents offer insight into why they believe they're teaching valuable lessons about discipline and dedication, but also grapple with serious questions about parenting, safety, and at what price we're pushing our kids to win." In this text lies a grain of truth, and that truth is something I feel we can all rally behind, yet the message becomes blurred in their YouTube sneak preview.

In over 15 years of coaching men and women, there have been a few things I have learned, which has been the onus for blogging. In that time, some of the truths that have been uncovered are: there is no such thing as an elite youth program or elite participant, as youth athletics depends greatly on the level of maturation of the participant. While it is true that competitive sports do require levels of discipline, work, and mental toughness, there becomes a point where the coach, who is developing these skills, can become disoriented and confuses their personal tolerance level of stress with what their participant can tolerate. As we saw from the video clip, there are moments where the adults in charge blindly charge past the boundaries of acceptable and into the depths of negligence.

Compliance and the fear of using our voice has allowed these people of questionable character to come into power positions, and yet, the power to change lies within each of us. Disturbing research is coming from the National Association of Scholars (NAS, 2010) that show up to 70% of all American youth involved in sports drop out by age 13. Wait for it. Let me say this again. 7 out of 10 kids stop playing sports by age 13. Assuming this research is correct, it's a dis-service we are providing not only to the youth, but to sports as well.

Now that the issue is out in front of all of us, lets talk solutions.

• Everyone needs to play. Put them all in during the first half, and at every possible spot and position. Second half, sure, play the athletes in their chosen position and be a little more competitive. 
• Reward two things: playing hard and making good choices. Process at early ages are more important then results. 
• Make it fun. 
• Practice, practice, and more practice. Think of it this way: in a game of basketball, only 1 person out of 10 is touching a ball for the entire duration of the game. During practice, everyone gets a ball and can work on skill development while using the equipment. Last thought on practicing: use this ratio:1 hour of competition for every 10 hours of practice. 
• Have a long term plan. It hurts me to say that our Canadian neighbors to the north are kicking our butts in long term planning for sports. The webpage http://www.canadiansportforlife.ca/ is awesome. With resources for parents, coaches, and athletes, this site should be a go to for everyone involved with youth sports. 

So there you go. Some thoughts on how to turn this back around, I hope this is going to start some conversations.